A song for every mood

I went for a long walk today. Lots on my mind as usual. My best bud Ferd isn’t talking to me for whatever reason. I didn't do anything wrong for once. A lot of people around me seem to be acting haywire, no fault of their own.

Guess things just build up after a while.

(Listening to: ‘Any Other Day" – Wyclef feat. Norah Jones)

I walked along the perimeter of my work building. It was really nice outside. Beach weather. Too beautiful to actually be cooped up under fluorescent lighting for nine hours without a lunch or a stretch. It’s almost 4:00 pm now. The wind was blowing slightly. I twisted my bangs away from my face and pinned them in a faux-hawk, I didn’t care if it got messy. The walking trail was light. Just me and petite lady in a huge straw visor, sunglasses and gloves. She was ahead of me about five yards. I closed in quickly, clipped at her heels, then easily passed her by.
Damn Ferd made me question my friendship with him. I take my friendships seriously.

It weighed heavy on my heart. I slowed my pace and strolled the parking lot close to the concrete wall. I preferred to stay between the parking cinder blocks and the freeway retaining wall. There was annoying comfort in this cushion. The buzz of thunderous semi's and rattling cars was noisy and dull. Familiar. White noise, just far enough away to where I could still think. I walked with my left arm outstretched, elbow crooked so as not to scrape my fingertips. I’ve got long monkey arms.

(Listening to: "The Seed" – Person L.)

I’ve known Ferd almost 20 years. Never a fight, argument or anything more than a football disagreement (sorry man, Jets still suck, I don’t care what you say– I'm a Philly fan for life!) Why he’s bitching out on me now is just weird. I guess everyone outgrows their friends, maybe not all, maybe not all at the same time, but it’s seemingly rare to stay buddies with the kids you’ve known since kindergarten. Ferd is the last of the gang for me. The last member of the high school posse that I still stay in touch with. The last memory I have of my best friend Gabe. He knows some of my dirt and I know almost all of his.

I edged my way from the parking lot onto the unevenly paved sidewalk near the street. It was shady and serene. I love being surrounded by trees and grass. Right then, a beautiful yellow and black spotted butterfly darted by; too pale to be a Monarch. It looked like a girl’s barrette had come to fluttering life. Christ, my simple walk turned into a scene out of a Disney movie. A breeze kicked up. I smiled to myself. A car drove by and honked loudly, rattling me out of my daydream. Invasive fucker. The driver pulled to the side ahead of me and began backing up slowly. I kept walking. "Excuse me," said the driver of the dusty red Kia Sephia. He coasted along evenly with my stride. "I just wanted to tell you you’re very pretty." I glanced in his direction, nodded, then pursed my mouth into tight-lipped acknowledgement. ‘At what point do you offer me candy, sir?’ I thought. I’m really hungry. I might just take it.

Un-phased, he let out a guttural grunt then peeled away from the curb. The lawnmower engine strained furiously. He might as well been driving a golf cart. My walk was tainted. My bubble, slightly dented. There is so little sanctity in simple pleasures anymore.

Ferd, stop acting like a dick or I’ll tell everyone about what you made me help you do for that chick in San Diego.

Listening to: "Chasing Pavements" – Adele (Wow, this woman gives me chills. New girl crush alert!!) If you’re reading my blog, and if you love me, you’ll download it.