28 July 2008

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.


Good ol’ Beans lost her cell phone like, five years ago and just got a new one. She sent out an email letting everyone know that her number had changed. Instead of only responding to Beans, her friend Sayonara (name changed to protect the fumbly) hit REPLY TO ALL and subsequently, replied to ALL with her work, home, and cell phone number.

Oh, silly Sayonara!

From: <***bella@gmail.com>
To: Sayonara
Date: Mon, Jul 21, 2008 at 11:01 AM
SubjectRe: Cell phone
Nice to meet you Sarah. I will be randomly calling/texting you shortly.


I told Beans about the mishap and my pending torment.
Beans said: "Do it, she’s totally cool!"

So what has ensued for this entire past week has been a barrage of text messages from me, consisting of Chuck Norris facts to Sayonara’s cell phone. The top five Chuck Norris facts, not in any particular order:

Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It's more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face and if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you're gonna get.

The torture may be over for now, but sleep lightly my dear Sayonara.









2 comments:

Irene Palma said...

OK, you little athlete (read: liar), tell the story right:

I did not get a NEW number, I merely got a new PHONE. I don't have YOUR number or any of my OTHER friends' numbers anymore because they were all stored in the OLD phone.

Sheesh!

Slammi said...

Beans, you are correct.
Dear readers, considering she has a brand NEW phone, her number remains unchanged. I was mistaken. I would have known this is I had ever called her in the first place. Thank you for rectifying my erroneous blog. No one gives a shit. As I comb through her blog with a fine-toothed comb,please, give her a ringy-ding-ding and let her know that: (310) 691-6496