Guess Snoopy would be assed out if he had to hitchhike too.

I have begun training in a field competition in which I literally have no knowledge or expertise in. I remember reading a Peanuts cartoon when I was a kid in which Snoopy prepared to wrestle in the arm wrestling capital of the world.
Courtesy of findarticles.com:

Wouldn't these macho men be flustered to learn that it was Snoopy who flexed his muscles and brought arm wrestling to the world's attention in 1968?
The sport got its first 15 minutes of fame when Peanuts creator Charles Schultz did a series of 11 strips in which Snoopy was preparing for his trip to Petaluma, Calif., - the birthplace of organized arm wrestling - where he planned to enter the arm wrestling championship.
But Dave Devoto, a founder of organized arm wrestling, said in the final strip, Snoopy was disqualified because the official arm wrestling rules state contestants must lock their thumbs - Snoopy has no thumb.

I was already exhausted upon arriving at the gym Monday evening but managed to pound out a modified regime, warm-up cardio on the treadmill: 20 minutes, stationary bike: 15 minutes, elliptical: 20 minutes, three sets of crunches 25 reps, three sets of push-ups 15 reps, followed by a long stretch session on the mat. Free weights didn’t seem a specific enough exercise for my wrists and Espe ended up asking one of the hulking trainers wandering the gym from http://psychofitness.com/ (namely the muscle encased bald dude in these pics on the site) what were the best exercises to strengthen the wrists.

He looked me up and down quickly. “Is it for an arm wrestling contest?”
I perked up, “Yes! How did you know?”
He shrugged his monstrous shoulders. “Come here.”

We followed behind him like eager puppies. He led up to a lat pulley machine, positioned himself on a weight bench, then gripped the handle in his massive right hand. Each of his calloused fingers were almost double one of mine. Mr. Psycho Trainer showed me two exercises to strengthen my grip and forearm.
He leaned toward me and spoke quietly, “Do you want to know how to win?”
It was golden. I squatted to my knees and peered up wide-eyed at that dude as if we were at a campfire and he was the best story-teller in the world.
“How?” I whispered.

He said: (spoiler) highlight the following if you want to know....

HA HA HA!!! ! Yeah right, like I’m going to tell YOU the secret to annihilating my opponents! Eat your Wheaties and drink your Ovaltine, bitches!!!

With that nugget of knowledge, I took his place on the weight bench and began curling with the weighted handle. Espe stood over me as I struggled. My arm burned after eight reps. I glanced at the weight stack. 4? As in four pounds? Mr. Psycho had bounced that cable back and forth like dental floss. I assumed that I was starting to fatigue so soon because of the earlier warm ups. But damn, I couldn’t pull four pounds without wincing? Then again, I had never worked out with this machine or this specific muscle group before. Hmm... what other excuse could I come up with? Sweat in my eyes?

I told Espe to drop the weight peg to 2. He mumbled something under his breath and wouldn’t shift it past 3. Three reps of 20 on each arm later, I was done. No, really, I was done. I was mentally trying to figure out how the hell I was going to undress and bathe myself that night with broken arms.

My bud Ferdinand has started calling me Hawk and
Espe, who keeps beating me with a rolled-up towel, insists I refer to him as ‘Mickey’.

Training day number one, down. Nothing has snapped yet. So far so good.