"Declaration of Independence Essay"

I wrote the following essay a few years back, as an effort to win cash moolah from a contest sponsored by a mattress company for students who were too damn old to be living at home. I didn't win, but I thought it was decent, and sadly, accurate.


"Declaration of Independence"

I love school and am considered a career student; not by choice but because of my indecisive mind and free thinking spirit, I could never decide on a major or a main educational path to take.

I need to move out of my parents house for several reasons, among them are: my baby pictures are slowly being replaced by pictures of the grand-children. Mom and I are starting to share the same hair coloring to hide our grays. Dad is beginning to mix up his AARP mail with mine. I still fight with my nieces over my old Barbie dolls and toys. The ‘sit down talk’ my Dad used to have with my dates has changed from, “What are your intentions with my daughter?” to, “So how many kids/warrants/baby mommas do you have?”

Considering that I will be FINALLY graduate college with my Bachelor’s degree in June this year, I think that I am ready and willing to make the leap into adult independence. I’ve actually run out of excuses to stay at home. I have a stable job and a decent social life, but being comfortable for so long in the same house that I was born and raised in for all of my life can get, well, too comfortable.

When I finally am able to move out, I think there will be major adjustments to get used to, but I will no longer have to call home if I’m going to be late or have my Mom fold creases into my thongs with the clean laundry and comment, “Doesn’t that hurt when you wear it?”

The freedom to walk around your own private abode naked, but with socks on (Mom says, so you won’t catch cold), should be the right of every American citizen.